All about Starbucks Hippies, and other West Coast Disasters

What kind of hippies drink Starbucks, anyway?

It was hot today. Not scorching hot, but sweaty and uncomfortable accompanied by a rather unpleasant slate gray skyline. My lady friend and I rode our bikes over to Starbucks in the late evening to spend a gift card that my mother had received at work.

First of all, I'm sure everyone's noticed how ALL THE SIZES AT STARBUCKS MEAN LARGE! Why is that? Tall, Grande, Veinte... It just means LARGE in three different languages. It's almost as bad as that ice cream shop Cold Stone that requires its patrons to order in predicates rather than sizes. Listen- "Love it" is not a size. It's not even a noun!

We ordered two of the sweetest, whipped creamiest, least coffee-like drinks on the menu. I believe they were called Veinte Mint Chocolate Frappuccinos. I thought mine was pretty foul, and at over 4 bucks a pop, not worth a repeat visit.

Anyway, this is where we saw the hippies. Not an uncommon sight around here, especially at a coffee shop, but... Starbucks? Probably the only coffee shop south of downtown that DOESN'T smell like a bong. They were a young couple, probably in their late 20s. The guy was wearing a blue bandanna with nappy dreaded hair sticking out the back, and a brown leather sling over his shoulder that held a pretty big jug of water. His lady friend looked equally nappy, and they had a pretty young kid, maybe 7 years old, wearing overalls and no shirt. They hung out inside for a few minutes and left their dogs (Two nice looking dogs, well trained, but with NO LEASHES and NO COLLARS!) outside to wait. The entire time all I was thinking was "Damn, one of these dogs is going to get hit." I mean, I have a well trained dog, too. These dogs looked genuinely pretty scared and confused out there, and they were surrounded by busy streets and parking lots. I even saw one of the dogs walking around in a nearby parking lot behind the cars. Don't these people think for a second that nobody in that parking lot could see a dog crouched behind their car? Ain't nobody gonna roll over my pooch.

Oh, and by the way, Starbucks doesn't have very good cookies, either.

I guess they couldn't inveigle their way into my wallet this time. Granted, the beverage I had can hardly qualify as coffee.